you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
