I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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