you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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