I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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