were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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