as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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