I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
