Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
