So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
