There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize