My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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