I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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