she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
