Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Vodka?
Forever.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
