Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
