My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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