it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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