is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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