you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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