I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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