I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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