I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
