i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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