awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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