First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
a search helicopter?!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
