He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
