I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
