opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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