Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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