She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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