Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
