he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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