it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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