you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
