wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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