I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
