you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
