NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
