Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
