ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize