New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
