goodnight i made you a song goodbye
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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