At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
