Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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