just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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