Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
