I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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