Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize