Will you blow on my dice?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
