We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
