there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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