I think I won the penis lottery.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
