I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
