The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
