You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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