he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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