Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
