I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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