Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I party with great urgency now.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
