He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
