He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This baby is an asshole
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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