Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
