don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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