watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
