what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
