Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
