your parents love me but you hate me
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well I just put wine in my tea
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
