just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
