She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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