i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
